Coping, Resources, & Inspiration

I’ve been thinking about what my 2nd blog post should be and I’ve been having the hardest time making a decision.
Should it be something inspirational, a review, a response to a current event…
All these ideas and no feeling of affirmation, until I came across a picture of Robert Williams with the caption “Thanks for contributing to my childhood #RIPRobertWilliams” and My face lit up and my heart said “This is it” So, here it goes…


Rarely am I angered or emotionally connected to events that occur in the media. The only events that have effected me in some way are: The Trayvon Martin Case, The Bring Back Our Girls Campaign, & The death of comedian Robert Williams.


I’ve been battling depression since I was 10 years old. The dreadful memories of bursting into tears in my 5th grade class for NO REASON AT ALL, to thinking of how unwanted I was and if I just took my own life there would be more air for others to breath and more water for the fishes to drink because they would not have me as a competition (yes, my 10 year old LOGIC!]. I ended up in the psychiatric ER at 13 years old & I’ve been receiving therapeutic support ever since. During elementary school, middle school, and high school I received extra attention from every adult that came in contact with me, which contributed to the reason I excelled.


I was not that familiar with Robert Williams, but his death hit me like I was a big fan. I think I saw a lot of myself in his death.
Here I am, a beautiful soul, that shines light on everyone and everything I touch. Here I am, known for the smile on my face as well as the smile I put on others. Here I am, known for pushing others, untapping their potential, picking them up when they fall; as a support… and here I am tearing up inside, barely able to clean my room, open the blinds, and get out of the bed… And many people would never guess that. This death/suicide made me realize that when I leave this earth everyone connected to me will be affected. 
How they take it all depends on how I leave here…

Things that help[ed] me:

  • Listing 3 things I am grateful for & why—-EVERY MORNING
  • Praying to God & meditating on daily devotions
  • Talking to people who care, understand, and are judgement free
  • Journaling
  • Scrapbooking
  • Exercising 
  • Reading Inspirational quotes, vlogs, and posts!
    [Kid President is my favorite!]
  • Last, but not least…
    Caring for my natural hair
My depression has been quite present this past year, but for the last couple of months I’ve been doing extremely well.
I think this has to do with me:
  • Developing a social life
  • Utilizing my bomb ass therapist & ALWAYS having a superb psychiatrist (strong African American figures)
  • Having the knowledge that my life is not only for me
  • Having an Almighty God by my side who knows all, sees all, forgives all, & most of all loves all.

A wise woman once told me “Go with what you know, not how you feel.” and that quote has not lead me in the wrong direction yet.


Resources 

If you know someone dealing with depression the best thing you can do is be there for them. Don’t be quick to give advice, just be there!

Some resources to tell them about are…
  • 1800-LIFENET: A service I’ve personally utilized to get support from the trained operator and to find my current therapist.
  • Samaritans 24-Hour Crisis Hotline: 212-673-3000
  • Crisis Call Center: 1800-273-8255
    Text “ANSWER” to 839863
  • National Hopeline Network 1800-SUICIDE
But, remember, don’t force it, you don’t want them to block you out, just as they’ve blocked out the world.

Just be the friend they want you to be, not the one you wish you had. 


With Humility & Love,
Tiara xoxo

PS- Never Ever Ever…

Forget That You Are Living Life For More Than Just You !
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